BIG NEWS!!

Well friends,

FIRST - thanks for the blog name suggestions. Keep them coming!! But, I have big things to share now! LOTS of DETAILS included..if you just want the main announcement, scroll to the end!! Many of you were a part of my journey a couple years ago to adopt Hannah from China. Hannah has now been home 19 months. Many of you know her now. Others of you have kept up with her through this blog.

Hannah has adjusted amazingly well and is doing great. She is a joy to me each day. She's beautiful, smart, sensitive, sweet, and funny all rolled into one. She also is spirited, stubborn, bossy and sometimes a bit sassy. And while we sometimes "disagree" on where the appropriate boundaries are for those traits to manifest themselves, I actually love that spirited side of her. She loves school, loves church, loves dance, loves her friends, loves her family, loves people in general, and loves God.

What does she NOT love? Not much actually. Umm..she doesn't like garlic?? ANd she she doesn't like (in her words) "somebody bossin' me!" Oh, and most of the time, she's not really fond of being quiet or of walking (skipping or running while singing or talking is MUCH more her style!) But really, she has such an enthusiasm for life that's completely contagious. When God put her in my life, He truly did MORE than I could ask or image! Some of you may remember that was kind of my whole theme for Hannah's adoption. Through the entire process, I saw him open his hand and provide much more than I could ask or imagine to bring Hannah home. I have been humbled by His love and grace poured out on us and so incredibly thankful. And I have been content. After all God has done, do I dare ask for more?

WELL....ACTUALLY...YES! Many of you know that last December I started the adoption process for a 2nd time. I logged in my paperwork on April 20, 2007 under China's "non-special needs" program. All along, I've felt like I would probably switch over to the special needs program at some point, simply because that's where my heart has been from the very beginning. But I was also open to waiting for a non-special needs referral if that was the direction God was leading (wait is currently at about 2 years and growing..so plenty of time to prepare!). But in the Special needs program, once you've been matched with a specific child, you need to be ready to travel in just a few short months (3-4 months currently). Lately I've thought (read "planned") that I'd wait until about this time next year and then I'd call Karla, my social worker, and tell her I wanted to switch to special needs. I'd be matched with a child sometime after that, and probably travel late spring or summer of 2009. Hannah would be finishing kindergarten, be a bit older, and I'd have had one year of "free school" (not preschool where I pay tuition) to save some extra money towards the adoption before I added a second child (and had to pay daycare or preschool costs). That would also work well because I transferred schools this fall and I wouldn't have to take time off of work my first year at a new job. I also started a program called "Take One" that is fairly time-consuming and I work on one section of my national boards this year. My "plan" was that I'd complete that this year, and then finish my national boards NEXT school year..ending just in time to travel to China for child #2. I'd come back with child number two to receive my scores in the mail and HOPEFULLY be nationally certified. (And as a bonus, this would give me a significant yearly bonus that I figured would come in handy in raising two children as oppossed to one). Let's see, what else did I plan? Oh yeah - I scheduled Hannah's cleft lip / nose revision surgery for the beginning of June so that it would be done before kindergarten and before I adopted a second child..WELL..when God is involved, our plans take a backseat to his far better plans.

My agency, Lifeline, has a list of children from China with special needs that comes out about every 3-4 months. I always "look" at the list, but I have not been "LOOKING" at the list, if you know what I mean. I look at the precious children and hope and pray for them to find their families. I root for them and cheer them on. When I see that wonderful word "matched" next to their picture, I am happy for them that they have found their families. In a few cases, when that "matched" never appears, I feel sad for them. On one list, there was a little girl who stole my heart..and she sat there week after week with no family. I prayed for that little girl for months and then one day celebrated when she was matched with a family. But I had no desire, no impulse, no "nudge", whatever you want to call it to act on ANY of those children. Remember, MY PLAN was that this time NEXT year, I'd call my social worker and she would match me with one of these precious children.

BUT...God's ways are higher than my ways!! Perhaps that's my new "theme". Perhaps that's the message God is trying to get through to me. Last Thursday evening, I received an e-mail from Lifeline (group e-mail) reminding people there were still a few waiting children left and also announcing that one child was BACK on the list who earlier had a family. This child had been on the previous list and had been matched. But, the family that was matched with her were unable to complete the adoption due to their personal circumstances that had changed. I clicked on the picture to "look" but most certainly NOT to "LOOK!" And I can't really describe what happened inside me at that point. I just was drawn to this child in a way that was different. I thought about her all evening and had a hard time sleeping. I checked Lifeline's website several times the next day. I just KNEW that the word "matched" was going to appear next to her name. She was too precious for it not to. I honestly thought there would be lots of people calling and asking about her. I thought by 8:30 at the latest, she would have had a family. And then something hit me..I realized that this time, if "matched" appeared next to her name, I would not really be so happy. Was God calling me to act now? Was He saying "THIS is your child"? But wait, God! That's not my plan. I have another year. You know, I have a lot to do this year, and a new job, and Hannah's still in preschool for crying out loud! I was thinking end of kindergarten, but she has to at least be out of preschool first!!! And I've been saving for the fees like crazy, but I'm nowhere close and can't be close in a few short months!! AND, And, AND!
I finally said "okay. If she doesn't get matched today (Friday), I'll call Karla Monday and ask about her". But I couldn't stand it! I finally called her office early Friday afternoon. She was in a meeting, so I sent her an e-mail and asked if this little girl was still available. ("Matched" had not appeared by her name, but I reasoned that the staff at lifeline was busy and just hadn't had time to update the website!) She e-mailed me back and said yes, she was still available. We exchanged e-mails a couple more times that day while Karla answered some of my questions, and then I spoke with her after school and officially placed her on "hold". "Hold" means I have 2 weeks to review her file, ask any questions, get any medical opinions I'd like, and make a decision. No one else can put her on hold or be matched with her during this time. I did do those things during my time "on hold", but it was really a formality and as you can tell by now, I didn't take the 2 weeks. I did them because I felt like I had to be responsible and really look into everything clearly before I committed to this child. But in reality, I made the decision in my heart the moment I e-mailed and asked if she was still available. I don't regret taking the time though to do a little more 'research' before making it official, and if I had it to do over, I would do the same thing. Adoptive parents should go into things with eyes wide open. This time, I was even more convinced of that because I knew that my decision affected not only my life and this little girl's life, but also Hannah's. But, I really used the time to pray for "my issues" more than this child's needs. Any hesitation on my part was based on my own insecurities rather than what needs this little one had. After all, this didn't fit in MY PLAN! But, God has reminded me of ALL HE did to bring Hannah home. And you know what the cool thing is? He's told me "I can do it again!". I really don't feel "worthy" of receiving a 2nd miracle! I mean, isn't one miracle enough! And yet, God's plans are not my plans. His ways are not my ways. His ways are higher than my ways actually. My reminder of this came from my amazing 4 year old. Saturday night, as I was putting Hannah to bed, she hugged me tight and whispered "do not be afraid. With God, all things are possible". I'm not making this up! My 4 year old said those words to me. I know where she got it. We've been reading her Toddler Bible at dinner each night during advent. We light our advent candles, read a part of the Christmas story from her Bible, and then pray and blow the candles out. The first week, we read the part where the angel comes to Mary and says "do not be afraid" and tells her she is going to have a baby and Mary asks "How can this be?". In toddler Bible language "The angel said 'with God, all things are possible'. By the end of the week, I would read "and the angel said.." and Hannah would fill in the blank, the first time with "do not be afraid" and the second time "with God, all things are possible". So yeah, I know where she got it. ANd I'm thrilled that she is learning and remembering things from God's word. But I also believe God is speaking to my heart through that. "DeEtte, I can do this. Do not be afraid. WIth God, all thigns are possible." Did you catch it? Not just "anything is possible". That is GREAT. But, there's more. ALL things are possible. ALL. Not just one. He can do more than I ask or imagine MULTIPLE times. He can work through ALL the seeming obstacles. Wow! Well, this is getting long, so let me get to the part you want to hear.

I HAVE A DAUGHTER - AGAIN! I have named her Sadie and she is in an orphanage in Taizhou, China. She turned two years old in October. Her special need is her hands. Her left hand is turned inwards (called "radial club hand") and she is missing her left thumb. Her right hand has a deformed thumb, but the other fingers are normal. This is actually not a big deal special need. Surgery might be an option, or might not depending on how functional she is with her hands and the exact bone structure once I get her home. There are some unknowns with the exact nature of her bones. She is otherwise developing normally in all areas according to her chinese reports. Her report says she likes to swing her body to music and make the caretakers laugh. She can feed herself a cracker by holding the cracker between her index finger and middle finger. She likes being around people and she "makes happy sounds" (this report was written when she was about 14 months old, so it's a bit dated) Her favorite toy is a doll. I am attaching pictures and will let you know more information about her as I find out more. According to current wait, it looks like I might travel in April or May (of this year!). But, that all depends on China at this point and is out of my hands. But it's in God's hands. As I told Karla, there are a million reasons why this is not a good time. But God did such a perfect job the first time around. He can do it again! All those obstacles and reasons to wait don't stack up when I look at the beautiful face and realize I am looking into the face of my daughter.

Hannah is excited. She actually has been talking about "her sister" for a couple weeks now. Before I said anything to her. She has said Santa needs to bring her sister a suitcase and a calendar so she'll have it "just like Hannah!" (Yes, Hannah asked for a suitcase and a calendar for Christmas. She asked for that a month ago. ..hmm..did her heart know we'd be traveling this next year?!!) Of course, Hannah also informed me that "I want two sisters!" I'm going to go out on a limb and say that God was NOT speaking to me through her on that one! HA! That was pure Hannah! I told her she was getting ONE sister. And it would be a long time. Not tomorrow. So today, Hannah said "I want my sister, my fried Sadie, but not tomorrow. day after tomorrow!"
Please join me in praying for Sadie and this whole crazy, but wonderful adventure God has called us to. Pray for Hannah as well. She's excited, but it will be an adjustment for her to have to share everything! But, I trust with God, ALL things are possible. He is preparing her heart too. She seems to be a better listener than I am sometimes. One specific prayer request for now: pray for Hannah's passport to arrive in a timely manner. I intend to take her with me to China, but I had not even applied for a US passport for her. (because I had PLENTY of time!). Well, at least as of this past summer, they were taking quite a while to process. We are taking care of applying this week, so should be fine, but we would appreciate prayers that there are no delays with her passport.

Thanks for joining us on the journey..again!