Random Thoughts at Midnight!

Well, I SO should be in bed at the moment. But, I’m wide awake. (Could it be the time change? The caffeine? Or the nap I took this afternoon?) And I’ve been thinking. And when I’m wide awake and thinking, sometimes I just have to write it down. And there have been several thoughts on my heart and mind the last several days – so I thought I’d share. In a way, they’re related to my adoption. But in another way – they’re just about LIFE in general. So, for your free reading . . .

1. Faith. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1). I’ve said before that this is a journey of faith for me. And it is. There are so many unknowns in an international adoption. So many opportunities to practice walking by faith and not by sight. And some days, I do that well. And some days, I don’t do so well. I look at Hannah’s picture and I want to leave right now and go get her. But sometimes, I just find myself thinking “When I show up in China, are they **really** going to let me bring her home?” But, a quote I read a long time ago in a book sort of serves as my guide on this. It said “I believe in God, more than my ability to follow Him.” I remember that God is bigger than my doubts and fears. I remember that He planted the desires within my heart. He set my foot on this journey. And He will see me through it.

But, enough about MY faith. What I’ve really been thinking about is YOUR faith. “YOU” are all those around me who have encouraged me, prayed for me, and given of yourself to help bring Hannah home. There are those among you who have financially donated to my adoption fund. There are those who have helped me with fundraisers. There are those who have totally planned and carried out fundraisers for me. There are those who donated things to the yard sales or used your talents in Discovery’s craft sale. There are those who have sent me encouraging e-mails, or called me, or offered to babysit when Hannah comes home. (Or offered your teenage children to babysit!) And mostly, you have joined me in praying for a little girl you’ve never met who lives on the other side of the world. Those are acts of faith. And YOUR faith inspires me. To know that I am so much supported by my community, to know that so many people believe in me and what I’m doing, well . . .that’s almost mind-boggling! And it inspires me in two ways. First of all, it just reinforces what I already know deep in my heart – that this journey is a God-ordained journey. And I will do all I know to be faithful to what God has called me to. I know I won’t be a “perfect parent”. Is anyone? But, with God’s help and the support you’ve all shown me, I will do the best job I can! And my daughter will be surrounded by people (MANY people) who love her and care for her. Some of you have said that Hannah is a lucky girl. Well, the truth is, **I** am the lucky one. I get to watch God fulfill the “desires of my heart”, and I get to be a part of God’s promise for a good future filled with hope for a special little girl! And I get to do that surrounded by a community that will love and support us both! Wow! The second way your faith inspires me is to do for others what you have done for me. You make me want to open my eyes to what God is doing in the lives of those around me, and then to do whatever I can to support them in living the life God has for them. Because I know, God does have a future of hope for each of you. It may not be to go to China and adopt a child (but if it is, call me! We’ll talk!). But God has something for you – and living out whatever God has planted deep in your heart will be an amazing, faith-building, grace-filled adventure. It has been for me!

Well – I had other “thoughts” to share, but that one was a bit long. So, the next time I’m up late at night, you’ll get part 2.

With a grateful heart,
DeEtte