Monday, March 28, 2011

Lessons from Prison

I went to prison again this weekend. Sweet, blessed time. I love my Kairos sisters - those inside and outside that prison. So many thoughts and images and "snapshots" of the weekend are swirling around in my head. Can't quite process them all yet. But here's a taste of what I experienced.

  • 65 Kairos sisters who praised Jesus, sang together, prayed together, ate together, listened, and loved together. About 54 of them were "sisters in white" who live at Tutwiler and wear standard Dept. of Corrections white uniforms - some for a few years, and a few for a lifetime. The other 11 were our outside team - and we ourselves are pretty diverse bunch! We come from different denominations, different races, different experiences, just different. Yet - the same too. Only God can create that kind of unity.

  • A conversation and prayer time with one of my sisters in white who will live out the rest of her lifetime in that place. And as we shared and prayed, I looked into her eyes and saw sadness and yet joy too. A joy greater than many I know. The sadness came when she talked about life here and now. The joy came when she talked about the life to come and about meeting Jesus face to face. And the joy came too when she talked about all the people she was determined would also come to know Jesus. Her whole face lit up. And I was hit with a sense of divine. And for a moment, I realized we were glimpsing eternity - when she and I and so many others would live and walk side-by-side forever. I don't know how to explain it. It wasn't an emotional moment, or a long moment. Just a brief sense of "yes. this is what it's about". But it was a Holy moment.

  • Another conversation with a woman who has lost her kids. And she tearfully asked me "do you think my baby boy will remember me?". ouch. Because despite everything else. Depsite what they've done, what environment they lived in, everything else, the mothers are still mothers in their hearts. They may not be able to care for their kids now, and some of them may not have been able to care for their children even before they came to prison. But they did (and do!) love them. They never stop loving them.

  • A quote I heard on a break "Our government has a choice to make. If they don't spend more money on schools now, they will just have to spend more money on prisons later". She should know - she's living there now.

  • A discussion after one of our talks. One woman shared her struggle to live a Christian life in that place. She compared her heart to having a robe on and every time she messes up, it leaves a hole in it. So she prays, asks for forgiveness, tries harder, and patches the hole up. And no sooner does she get the hole patched up, then she trips and makes another mistake and gets another hole. She can't keep up. And our table group tells her almost at the same time - quit patching up that robe!! Just exchange it for a brand new one!! That's the promise of Jesus - a new heart!

  • Sunday morning church. I go to a great church - with people I love, great music, great teaching, and great worship! I love my church! But when it comes to the places I've felt the most freedom and pure joy in worship - it comes in 2nd. (or maybe even 3rd - but that might be a story for another day). But first place goes to a very simple chapel in the midst of a place of hurt, shame, and darkness. That little chapel at Tutwiler with very little resources is proclaiming the good news and changing lives. And the worship there is pure, real, free, and joyful! It's awesome!!

  • So much more - some of which are miracles and insights that aren't mine to tell. But now I'm home, and content, and challenged at the same time. Content to be home, happy to be with my family, and really tired. But also challenged to reach out for more ministry, more blessings, more joy, more boldness, more freedom, and more authentic living - to live out in my day-to-day life outside those prison walls the very things that seem to come so easily inside them.

1 comment:

Marlene said...

Very well put Sister!