Summer Fun - part 1

I love summer, and while I love my job and co-workers too - this year I was so ready for summer. We have enjoyed June, and look forward to more fun in July. :) Here's a taste of what we've done so far this summer.
Note..you get the good pictures. Because I don't have pictures of: waking mom up at a ridiculously early hour, whining, way too many dirty clothes or dishes, or arguing.  Hey,. they're a normal part of life too.  But the joy, the laughter, and the precious time we've gotten to spend together has definately outweighed the other stuff.  Here's a taste of what we've done so far this summer.

Kicking off the first day of summer with breakfast and a game of checkers at Cracker Barrell

A visit to grandma and grandpa's house complete with a game of croquet...

And a short drive to Chattanooga for a fun day at Riverwalk.

By  far the kids' favorite part of visiting..playing with my grandfather's wheelchair!

We've also enjoyed catching fireflies in the backyard.

Both girls have helped cook on different nights.

Hannah finished reading Wizard of Oz and we had an Oz movie night to compare the book and movie.  The girls ran upstairs and came down with these unique costume creations.  Hannah is Dorothy and Sadie is the tin man.  OH NO - the tin man is rusted again!

Never fear - Dorthy has the oil can to fix him right up.

It's not been all play. There's been some productive moments too, such as organizing the pantry.  It even has chalkboard labels on it now too (completed after photo was taken).

My dad came and pruned some trees around the house.  Hannah enjoyed helping.

The girls went to two VBS programs and had a blast at each.  Here's Hannah making a birdhouse at the VBS at my church. Our aweesome craft people were brave enough to spread the kids out and give them all hammers at the same time. They LOVED it!

And of course mine can't get enough of a stage. :)

This week we tried a fun experiment and made a "balloon catapult".  SO fun for the girls.  Here's our homemade catapult ready for action.

Water balloon in position. Ready, aim, fire!!

Wow - it really works!

Bike riding is still a favorite.

But washing the car is really fun!

So, that's the fun part of June! The not-so-fun part is Hannah has somehow hurt her back. She's fine and not in pain for everyday activities. But when she bends or twists certain ways, it hurts.  So, she's been going through some dr. appointments to try to figure out what it is.  Her dr. says that in kids her age, she shouldn't be having back pain, even with sports or dance activities without a cause. But, they can't find a cause. She had an x-ray and MRI that were both normal.  Today, she went for a bone scan.  She did awesome and I was so proud of her! But, we won't get the results until probably next week. So, say a prayer for her.  If the bone scan comes back normal, her dr. will recommend a few weeks of PT to see if that helps.

Stayed tuned for part 2 of summer fun...coming when we do some more fun things and when I get an inkling to blog about it.  Sadie has swim lessons coming up.  That girl needs to learn how to swim. She has no fear of the water. She also has no skill.  Hannah learned to swim great with the YMCA program a couple years ago (her competitiveness kicked in. Once someone else her age swam without the floatie..she was determined too). Sadie meanwhile, was more about the socialization than the actual swimming.  And in two sessions at the Y - I don't think she learned anything.  So, we're trying swim lessons with a friend of mine (who is also a teacher so she's seen enough cute 1st graders not to be suckered in by "cute". She'll be fun and loving and encouraging, but she'll also ask for performance and effort..which is what miss social butterfly needs).   But otherwise,  I'm seeing a bunch of reading, board games, and movies in our future this weekend with temps predicted up to 106. Either that or a trip to Alaska if someone wants to fund it. :) Happy Summer!

Soccer Star!

Sadie is loving soccer this season. I mean, really LOVING it. It's been so fun to see. It's her 3rd year to play and it's the first year she has developed a bit of a competitive streak. It's also the first year she's really had the stamina to play hard. Some of that is simply that she's a little older. But I also really think some of it is the kidney medicine she's taking now. She has more energy in general. You know in Upward, they rotate the players in and out so everyone gets equal playing time..or as equal as they can make it. Last year, Sadie said she liked soccer. But in reality, she cheered every time it was her turn to sit OUT. ha ha! This year, she can't wait for her turn to go IN. And not only is she playing her assigned periods..she's subbing for the flower pickers, the tired kids who need a water break, the ones who need a potty break, and whoever else needs to come out of the game for whatever reason. And she runs the whole time and stays right with the ball. It's awesome to watch her having so much fun and being able to keep up!

So yeah, I hate that she has this kidney issue. But am thankful it was found and the medicine has been a blessing. In 3 months, I see a big difference in her energy level and her growth. (especially her feet!! She's outgrowing shoes left and right!). And that's exactly what her dr. told me I might see happen. ha ha! I just noticed that I typed she was outgrowing her shoes "left and right!". hee hee. of course she is! She wouldn't outgrow just left. or just right. Must be left and right! Perhaps I'm the only one amused by my comment..oh well!

Hannah's Dance solo from Kids Artistic Review Feb. 2012. She placed 7th overall in the 8 and under division. Five weeks later she received a double platinum and was 1st overall in the 8 and under division with this same solo at the Alabama State Dance Championship! Congrats to my little State Champion!

Today: My Little Girl!

Sure, of the two of them, this is actually my big girl. And in so many ways she *is* the big girl. She's full of hard questions and wants to figure everything out. She's in 3rd grade - which in elementary school is the beginning of "big kid"! I mean, she's writing in cursive, and "reading to learn" (instead of learning to read), and taking standardized tests, and learning multiplication facts. She's in the beginning of that "tween" stage. She tries so hard to look and act so grown up. Sometimes. But on a beautiful day like today, she runs outside with sidewalk chalk and bubbles. And she blows bubbles and catches them over and over. Just like she did when she "little". And she twirls around watching the wind blow the bubbles from her wand and giggles and grins with pure delight. And I watch her from the window for a few minutes struck by how she is very much my big girl. And, she is very much my little girl. I want to freeze time..to stop and let her stay in this little / big moment. But since I can't, I do the next best thing. I grab the camera and go join her.

Beautiful Children and God's Amazing Blessings

Who are these kids? They come from places with names like Hubei, Hunan, Jiangsu, Guangdong, and others. Now they all live locally. All adopted from China. Some were "older child" adoptions. At least half were considered "special needs" adoptions by China. Heart defects, slow growth, limb differences, cleft lip and palate. These are just some of the needs represented here. And these needs have come into play in their lives in a variety of ways. Between them they have had numerous surgeries, speech therapy sessions, PT, OT, hearing and vision issues, and have visited specialists of almost every discipline in pediatric medicine. Some have needed only their local pediatrician. Some "obvious" needs have needed no interventions at all. Others have had "hidden" needs that have come up over the years, even if their adoption wasn't originally a "special needs" adoption. Many have had emotional needs to be addressed relating to attachment or fears or clinginess or adoption or being Chinese in various ways. Some of these children embrace being Chinese with everything inside them. Others prefer to just not discuss it at all. Still others have swung between these two or fall somewhere in the middle. Some are energetic and passionate and outgoing. Others are quieter and more reflective. But in reality, every one of the children in this picture had the exact same "special" needs: the need for a family, the need to belong, the need to be loved, the need to not be limited by their circumstances. Today these children are excelling in school. They play soccer and baseball. They take piano lessons. They are Girl Scouts. They take gymnastics and dance and sing in school or church choirs. They have learned to ride bikes and roller skate and go across the monkey bars. They are loved by moms, dads, sisters, and brothers. They have cousins and grandparents and uncles and aunts. They have families. They are loved, they are healthy, they are happy. They are beautiful children of God. So, yes..they are blessed.

But more than that, they *are* a blessing. They love big and generously. They teach me to love big and generously! They have expanded the hearts of all around them. They are survivors who have overcome more in their (2,3,4,5,6,7,8, or 9+) years than many adults. They show us what courage is. And Joy. They laugh with infectious joy. They cuddle up next to a parent on a Saturday morning. They reach a hand out to a little brother or sister to help. They giggle with one another as they attempt to use chopsticks to pick up chips. They make up games while the grown-ups talk. The older ones love on the little ones. The little ones look up to the older ones.

Many of these children don't actually know one another all that well. Due to time and busyness..some may only get together once or twice a year. Others see each other regularly at school. Some just met the day this photo was taken. But they are connected by shared experiences just as their families are connected by the experience of loving them. And it's my prayer that as they grow older and become "tweens and teens" (many approaching fast!), they will draw strength from that shared experience together. Tonight, I celebrate these children who make my world a better place. And I pray for the ones who still bear the label that *these* children are forever freed of: orphans. There are so many girls and boys just like these in China, in Uganda, in Hondurus, in the United States, and beyond. Please pray for them. Pray for them to find families. Pray for families to welcome them and love them. Pray for them to know their worth is not tied to the labels the world gives them, but to who their Father is.

Gung Hay Fat Choy! Happy New Year!

What I Know to be True

This post is for me to remember more than anything else. You are welcome to read it if you'd like. (because of course if I didn't want anyone to read it, it would not be on a blog!) It's personal, but not private.

It's amazing how God whispers to us sometimes, and uses some of the most unlikely things. God has been whispering to me this week through several things including some sweet friends. But the most unusual thing He's been communicating through is a book series I read over Christmas break. It was The Hunger Games trilogy. Maybe you've heard of it - it's pretty popular these days I think. But it's not the type of book I'd normally be interested in or even try to read. ( I think it might actually be classified as a "young adult book" but shh..I read it anyway!! ha ha!) But I started the first one and found myself "sucked in" and had to finish it. Now, before you go out and buy it thinking it's going to change your life..don't. There's nothing theological or Christian about it. In fact, it's not a "feel good" book at all. If you read it, read it for the plot and the story, because that's probably all you'll get out of it.

*BUT*, there's a couple parts in the series where the main character is confused and distraught about things going on around her in the "game". And when she does, she uses a strategy someone taught her to "go back to what you know". In the moments of complete uncertainty, she repeats the things she knows to be completely true and unchanging. Sometimes, it's only her name and age that she can state. But whatever it is, she says what she *knows* to be true and from that gets a bearing on who she is.

I hadn't thought much about the book other than "that was interesting". But then this past week, I had a time of uncertainty myself. I took Sadie to the nephrologist (kidney dr.). What I knew before the visit was that she had 2 functioning kidneys - but in the wrong place. Her left kidney was in her pelvis and at last check, was on the small side. Her right was a little high and was a normal size. But in the two times she's been before, every bit of her lab work has come back completely normal. I was told her kidneys worked great and to "have a nice life and check back in every couple years". This past week was that "in a couple years" check-in. I was very laid-back about the whole thing because I expected to be told the same thing again. I expected it to be very routine. But it wasn't. It wasn't bad news. Her kidneys are doing okay. But it wasn't great news either.

From her ultrasound, I learned that her left kidney has not grown at all. It's in the 0 percentile for her age, height, and weight. It might be working a little, but not much if at all. The good news is her right kidney is compensating pretty well. It's growing great (83 percentile) and her dr. was happy about that. It's functioning pretty close to "normal", but not quite 100%. Her blood work showed that there's too much acid in her blood. (Kidneys among other things filter out the acid of the blood). Everything else was within normal limits. But that was enough to do two things. First, she has to take medicine daily now to correct that. Actually 3 times a day. Her dr. said he has had kids outgrow this before, but that she very well may need it the rest of her life. The second thing that did was bring her score on some measure that measures kidney function down just a little bit to the point where he wrote on her chart "Stage 1 renal insufficiency" which basically means "stage 1 chronic kidney disease". We didn't talk about that really..just the acidosis (acid in her blood). But I saw him write it as I was leaving and talking with his nurse. And I was still kind of wrapping my brain around the fact that they didn't say "looks great - see you in two years" and instead were writing a prescription for a long-term daily medicine. Of course I did what you shouldn't do and came home and googled. And what I found was more questions than answers. That doesn't really mean anything. It might mean that she has this issue with acid in her blood and that she may or may not have this issue all her life. and that's all. OR she could progress with a progressive loss of kidney function slowly over the years..into stage 2, and beyond. And that's scary stuff. But there is absolutely no way to know any answers at this point. All I can do is give her the medicine and take her back for her follow-up appointment in 1 year and see what her labs say then. Her dr. did tell me that this acidosis did not predict anything for the future. There are no symptoms in these early stages. And this is also why it's called a chronic disease. Ther's nothing acutely wrong..but it's a long term thing to watch and treat as needed. And I found this unsettling in the couple days after I received this news. Unsettling because of course I wanted to "fix" the problem, and I can't. In fact, I don't know how big of a problem it even is. So yeah, some uncertainty and worry about the future set in. And I have some sweet friends who I know are praying for Sadie, and for our family. That helps a lot. And then yesterday, I heard God whisper "Go back to what you know". And I remembered the book where the character stated what she knew to be absolutely true. So, that is what I am doing. I am stating what I know to be completely true.

I am loved by God. He has good plans for my life and future. He has been faithful and trustworthy in the past. He is still faithful and trustworthy. My daughters are loved by God. He has good plans for their lives and futures. God is able to do exceedingly more than I think or imagine. He did do exceedingly more than I could think or imagine to bring us together as a family. He put Sadie in our family (Hannah too!) in a way that I knew that I knew she was meant to be a part of us. There were so many possible obstacles and yet..nothing was an obstacle. He brought her to my attention when I wasn't even looking to adopt again just yet. He worked miracles with timelines, paperwork, and money. HUGE miracles. From a human standpoint, her adoption should have never happened. But it did. Because God is not limited by our circumstances. And because He put her in my family, he has given me everything I need to be her mother and to handle whatever is thrown at us. Regardless of how many specialists or doctors we see, or how many medications or surgeries or other treatments come our way. He has given Sadie a deep joy in life and a trusting, easy-going spirit and an unbelieveable ability to handle medical procedures with ease. (When the nurse asked if I was going to hold her down for the blood draw, Sadie looked at her like she was crazy and said "no. She doesn't have to hold me! I'm good at this!" And then she sat there at chatted with the nurse while she drew blood and never even flinched!). I also know that God led us to see a nephrologist in the first place.And he used an outstanding dr. to do it. NOTHING in Sadie's paperwork from china indicated kidney issues. She has had (and still has) no symptoms that would lead me to take her. But the adoption clinic dr. noticed on her first visit she had a teeny tiny "ear pit" on her left ear. (looks like a little freckle). And from that, she told me that *could possibly* indicate kidney issues..probably not..but why don't we get it checked out just to be sure. Amazing! That's what led us to our kidney dr. in the first place. And because he has been following her, he caught this very very early...and that could possibly help prevent further kidney damage. Regardless, God created Sadie and knit her together himself. He is not suprised. He knows exactly how big her kidneys are and what they can do and what cells are or are not working exactly right. And He is not limited by any of that.

That, is what I know to be true today. And today, that brings peace.

Shots and Toilets as Presents

Just a quick little update on our "giving project" from Christmas (scroll down and read previous post if you're not sure what I'm talking about).
So, it went about like I thought..not much interest in the "giving gifts" on Christmas morning in the midst of the excitement. But yesterday we were able to talk about them more and they were very interested. They haven't picked out the place they want to help provide a well for yet. But they did each pick a gift out of the Compassion Catalog. They were very into it, especially Hannah. She read each description carefully and in the end chose "vaccinations". When I asked why, she said "because it says here kids die from diseases without them". So vaccinations it is. Then it was Sadie's turn. She debated long and hard between a soccer ball and a toilet. She finally chose toilet. (It was actually called "safe and sanitary bathroom" in the catalog. But she prefers to say she's buying a toilet.) When I asked why, her answer was amazingly thought-out, long, serious, and funny all at the same time. Only Sadie. :) She said "well, if a kid doesn't have a toilet, then he has to pee on the ground outside. And then a goat might eat the dirt with pee and get sick. Then the goat will burp in the kid's face and the kid will get a head-ache and then get sick. So a toilet helps kids not get sick." So, there you go..why every kid needs a toilet. :)

Christmas Ramblings

This Christmas season my family has done a lot. Just like most other families I know. And quite honestly, everything we've done has been fun. But there's also a little tension - it's like we are living two different lives and celebrating Christmas two different ways. This post doesn't attempt to remove the tension. Rather, it's my attemp to think through some of it, with you along for the ride. :)

There's visiting Santa, and buying gifts, and making wish lists and parades and dance performances and school choir performances. There's dressing up to go see the Nutcracker, and creating Gingerbread houses. There's parties galore. And there's the elf. THE ELF. He has been responsible for much mischief, much clean-up on my part, and much giggles on the girls' part.

Then, there's our advent candles and the Nativity set, and talk of hope, joy, love, and peace. We tell the Christmas story and talk about Jesus' birthday. We look for opportunities to give to to others.

I've always thought the two could co-exist. And maybe they can. But there's still a tension. Even the kids feel it. My girls were both delighted to email Santa their wish lists. They have high hopes for Christmas morning. One moment Hannah will jump up and down with excitement and tell you she hopes that she gets an ipod and "dark grown-up lipstick" for Christmas. Then, when Sadie starts her wish list, Hannah interrupts her and says "But remember. .Christmas isn't about the gifts. It's about Jesus' birthday. Jesus is the most important gift". And while her words are true, the way she says it is the same way a whole group of kids will raise their hands and shout "Jesus!" in answer to any question asked during children's church before they even hear the question! Sadie's the same. One day early in the season I interrupted their talk of possible gifts and said "It's Jesus' birthday. What gifts will you give him?". And Sadie in all her innocent and sweetness said "I know, we'll give him LOVE!". And for those of you who don't know her - Sadie *is* one of the most loving people. She loves people and she loves Jesus. But even for her, it sounded like a cop-out answer. (I didn't tell her that!). But maybe that's because it's a cop-out answer I give too. I teach the kids to give and serve at Christmas. We put toys in the toys-for-tots box. We stick a dollar here and there in the Salvation Army red kettle. And then I have to buy the “real gifts” to see if we have any money leftover to donate to poor people somewhere else. And my girls who are happy to give and serve any other time of the year, want to know why they have to provide toys for other kids at Christmas, because "why can't Santa just bring them toys?". And in all my wisdom I answer in a mumble and change the subject.

But Jesus has interrupted my Christmas this year. It all started with reading a book called Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis. Her book is actually not about Christmas at all. It is about a God who interrupts our comfortable world and calls us to stop and really love the hurting and poor around us. Everywhere I've turned this advent, I've heard the same message. Stop. See the need. Love in real, practical ways.


I was so inspiried by what I was reading and hearing that I wanted Christmas to be a little different this year. I didn't want to just give lip-service to loving others. I didn't want us to just give our left-over change after all the "real gifts" had been bought. We still have the tension described above. But we are slowly making changes. On Christmas morning, my children will find gifts...good gifts that they wanted. They will jump up and down in excitement. But stockings this year will be different. Usually their stockings have an orange, candy, sometimes socks that they needed, and then a bunch of cheap things to take up the space that they don't really need and that they love for all of 5 minutes. But not this year. They will probably still find an orange (because what else do you put in the toe?) And a little candy. And Hannah might find her "grown up lipstick" she wants and Sadie will find something small she'd like too. And then, they will find two other gifts. I'd actually already bought a bunch of little stuff for their stockings at walmart and I actually took them back the other day for a refund. And then I used the money to buy them each a gift card from Living Water. http://www.water.cc Living Water builds wells and provides clean water to people in developing countries. It's a need my kids are familiar with already through church activities we've done in the past. And it's a critical need. Santa doesn't go around delivering clean water so people can live. Jesus uses us to do that. And they will also find a gift catalog from Compassion International where they can purchase a gift for a family in the developing world. Cool gifts like mosquito nets or soccer balls or a pig or goat.

This is how I predict this to go. They will see their presents and get very excited. Then they will dump their stockings. Sadie will immediately eat a couple pieces of chocolate and Hannah will squeal and put on the lipstick. Then they will briefly look at the catalog and gift card before returning to their other gifts. And that's okay. Because in a few days when the other gifts have lost the "newness" factor, we'll go online and redeem their gift cards. The girls will each get to choose the country and project they want their gift to go towards in providing clean water. Then, they can pick out a gift from the compassion catalog. Maybe they buy a pig for a family in Rwanda (by the way - I learned an average sow can give birth to up to 16 piglets a year..so the gift of a pig could mean a lifetime of income and food for a family). Or maybe mosquito nets for a family in India or a soccer ball for a kid in Uganda. My hope is, that this becomes a tradition and long after they've forgotten what they "got" for Christmas, they remember what they "gave". I'm super excited about this.

But I was kind of feeling off-kilter still with the whole Christmas thing. I mean what could I be missing? We've done everything. Shopping's done. Giving's done (or planned). Tree is decorated. Parades, parties, events..done or almost done. Nothing left to buy. Nothing left to plan. And then I went to church this morning. Towards the end of the music, we started to sing Angels We Have Heard on High. We got to the gloria in excelsis deo part and my heart remembered what was missing. I couldn't put it in words, but I teared up and just knew. Later this afternoon I looked the words to that song up. I needed to know the meaning of those words. Something about glory, I knew. It means "Glory to God in the Highest" - the very words the angels spoke to the shepherds in Luke. And slowly, my mind caught up with my heart. Worship. The gift of Christmas was Jesus, God's son. And the very first response to that gift wasn't another gift..not even to Jesus. The very first reponse to that gift was for the angels to worship and praise and give God glory "in the highest". Doesn't that mean above all else? With all I am? Jesus came and turned the world upside down. He turns our lives upside down. And to whom much is given, much is required. And I have been given much. But regardless of what that looks like at Christmas time or in regular day-to-day life, it starts with stopping, worshipping, and giving God glory and praise with all I have and all I am.

And now, because it's taken me 4 months to update the blog and because I'm quite sure I won't update it again until after Christmas, I will end this long post with a photo. I just love this one with all the missing teeth! Merry Christmas!!

Race and 7 / 8 Year Olds and Their Parents

Well, this post could very well get me in hot water with some people. But it's been on my heart the last couple days and I'm just going to say it anyway.

Racism exits today. Here, right where you are. And not talking about it doesn't make it go away. And I'm kind of naive I guess, because my kids are still young. So I haven't seen racism in them or their friends. (maybe others have, but I haven't). No, I've seen curiosity about race, and kids trying to understand race. But I haven't seen what I would consider racism. And maybe as a white person that doesn't face racism in my daily life, I'm not qualified to judge what is racism. But I'm just saying..I don't see it in the kids..much. (There was once..but the little girl was young. And even though it sounded mean-spirited, she was lucky to have people who cared about her and others enough to set her straight on some things. And the adults around her used the opportunity to teach respect for all people. And so I choose to believe it was just not knowing and understanding). I do see it in the parents. (Thankfully not in most parents..but in just enough that's it's made me sit up and notice). Let me try to explain, using my own kids, well one of them anyway. I kind of get a weird window into the world..because my kids and I are a different race from each other.

When Hannah was little, she explained race by skin color, but not in the terms we adults use. It was more like "your skin is light brown, well not even brown. My skin is medium brown. My friend so and so's skin is dark brown. It's not black though, even though someone said it was black". See, innocent. One day she came home from after-school care in kindergarten and asked me "mom, what team am I on?". (I said Alabama - roll tide! just kidding!). I asked what she meant. She said "am I on the white team or the black team?". I was a little concerned - and was ready to head down to her school (that I LOVE) and ask why on earth they were dividing kids into teams for games based on race!! But because I know her school and know that would not be tolerated, I figured I must be missing something. So, I asked a few more questions first. (always a wise choice where my kids are involved) And it turns out - there were no teams. Hannah was just trying to figure out where she fit in in a world where it seemed like everyone else was either white or black. There were no organized teams..but she was asking "am I supposed to play with the white kids or the black kids? Where do I belong?". And I've learned that - kids categorize. It's a developmental skill..not meanness. Kids with curly hair / straight hair, boys / girls, 2nd grader / 1st graders, black / white. I asked "are you trying to figure out if you're white or black?". She said yes. So I responded "neither". And then I tried to explain that she was Asian..and that was it's own race and she wasn't white or black and she should play with whoever she wanted or whoever looked like they needed a friend.

It's taken a long time for Hannah to understand there are many races and nationalities and ethnicities in the world. She tried for a while to put everyone into: white, black, asian. (because kids categorize. And honestly, I think a great many kids do this - though most probably leave out the asian. But Hannah's just more verbal about it than most). Well, asian = chinese to her for a while. And slowly, as she occassionally met people that were Korean or Vietnamese or Indian (from India) she began to understand that "Asian" incorporated more than "Chinese". (And the reason we met people who were all these other ethnicities was simply that when Hannah saw someone who looked asian, she marched up and said "hey, are you Chinese?". She still does actually..but now she's starting to say "you look asian..are you Chinese or another kind of asian?".

Another thing Hannah did for a long time is group Hispanic people into the category "Asian". Their skin color was often more similar to hers than it was to a person who was black or white. The earliest I remember this is when Hannah was 4 (before we travelled to get Sadie), a lady who looked hispanic was jogging down our street. Hannah glanced at her and said very matter-of-factly "I think that's my birth mother!". I was pretty much like "um, I'm quite sure it's not. For MULTIPLE reasons". And so we began talking about there were people that were hispanic and that was different from asian, even though skin color could be similar. Now actually, Hannah is learning that not all Hispanic people come from Mexico..but from other places as well. When Hannah plays at the park, she will often walk up to a child there that looks hispanic and say "Hey..I speak Chinese, do you speak Spanish?". Kind of funny in that she actually doesn't speak Chinese (at least not above the level she could learn from watching Nihao Kai-lan cartoon! And she probably knows as many Spanish words as Chinese). But she shows no hesitation in asking about race or ethnicity. She's proud to be Chinese and she figures everyone else should be proud to be whatever they are and be ready to talk about it.

It may seem like we talk about race a lot - and well I guess we do. Not just strictly race..but race, ethnicitity and nationality. Not an everyday conversation..but it comes up. Hannah drives a lot of that..she's interested and has questions. (Sadie on the other hand never brings it up.). I think some of it comes from the fact that Hannah doesn't see her race reflected as the majority hardly ever. And unlike some other minorities, she doesn't even see her race reflected as the majority in her church, or her family. That's not a bad thing..it just is. (But it's also why I liked her being a part of Camp China last weekend - scroll down). And Hannah seems comfortable with that..but she's also observant and has questions. Hannah is also old enough that she's studied Martin Luther King, Jr.and a little bit about civil rights in school. She is completely outraged at the idea of segregation. (She also wanted to know if she lived in the United States during segregation where she would go to school.) She thinks Ruby Bridges is very cool (Black child who was the first to integrate her school after Brown vs. Board of Eduation). So, yeah. We talk about race a lot in our family. It's been a learning cuve for both of us in how to do that in ways that are respectful and honoring to everyone.

Contrast that with the way I've heard race talked about among adults in the past and this week. (and this is where I may step on some toes!) Last year Hannah was in a class that included some students who were hispanic. I don't know how many exactly..but more than a couple. And the same is true this year. And there are several classrooms in the school that have a significant number of hispanic children. Beautiful, bright children whose parents want them to learn and grow and develop and have fun and make friends. Kind of like what we all want for our kids. And sadly, I have heard more than one parent "grumble" about their child being placed in a room with those kids. Comments like "Did you see the list of names? I can't pronounce half of them. Great! (sarcastic great!)" or "Who is my child going to be friends with - I mean with the nationality of the other kids?". "There is no one my daughter can be friends with in this class" (based ONLY on the names of the kids. Not meeting them. Not even seeing them!! )Seriously. And I've heard other comments too. A couple comments were said directly to me. Because I was white and the other parent was white so I must agree, right? And actually at least two times that I know of (only once this year) I've said "well, my child is not white either" and the other parent looked at me like "oh, duh! I forgot!". So, okay.. this is not the majority of people I know. It's actually only a couple conversations I've had plus a couple relayed to me. But I've just heard a little "grumbling" on this topic over the years. And I have to think there's more going on..or at least being thought. So, if your child is in a class like mine..here's my experience / thoughts for what it's worth:

* Be glad! Your child will be enriched by it.

* The vast vast majority of the kids of other nationalities in our schools speak English. Really, they do. I've sat at the tables with them at lunch. I've visited their class. I've taught them. There may be one who doesn't here and there..but they learn "playground english" fast. (not a real term - my words). The kids who get ESL help especially after kindergarten,(for the most part) need help with academic language..langauge on tests, in textbooks, etc. But your child absolutely can play with them on the playground just fine. And even if there's a child who doesn't speak English - kids figure out how to communicate. Don't worry.

* Your child will not be the "only" white child in his / her class. At least at my school. Actually, far from it.

* Even IF your child were to end up being the only white child in his / her class - it would be fine. There are many children across the world who have survived being the only child of their race / nationality in a class. My child is one of them.

* Your child will learn in this class. The teacher will teach in English and will teach your child the same thing other kids of this age are learning in their classes. Your child's education will not be harmed, but will be enriched. And my secret observation here: In many schools (though not all I concede) the classrooms with kids who may need a little extra help (such as classrooms with kids who have disabilities or classrooms with kids who need ESL support) tend to have some of the strongest teachers. That will be a benefit to your child too.

* You might have to discuss race with your child. It's not so hard. But as kids begin categorizing, observing, and trying to make sense of the world - we definately have to model respect. But sometimes we have to verbalize it as well. For example: Hannah knows what racism is. We've explicity talked about it. It started when she was learning about civil rights at school, but also she had someone who wouldn't let her do something because she wasn't born in America. (but that was the young child mentioned earlier where it was actually used by the adults around as a teaching moment and I believe was handled well). She's young and still working on the understanding, but she can give you a very simple definition. "If someone doesn't want to play with you because you're not playing fair, or because they have someone else they're playing with, or because they want to do something else, or they just want to be alone - that's not racism. They just don't want to play. But if they won't play with you because of what you're skin looks like or where you're from - that's racism". She will also tell you that it's not okay to make fun of what people look like or where they are from, and that it's not okay to sing songs that make places other people are from sound bad because it might hurt someone's feelings.

* Your child's life will be enriched by having friends that are different, whether "different" in your child's case means white, black, hispanic, asian, child with disabilities, or what. One of Hannah's good friends in her class last year was hispanic. And it was that little girl that actually stood by Hannah when someone else wasn't being so nice. Hannah's friends have included kids with disabilities, especially in years she was in an inclusion class. (which is not about race..but it is about respect for everyone).

* Your child is looking and listening to you for help in figuring out this world. And when you are looking at class lists and dropping off school supplies this week, your child might just be noticing any grumbling, sighing, or whispered "do you see these names?" comments. In contrast, your child might also be paying attention to your genuine "wow - looks like a great class. I think you'll have a great year!" And if you teach your child respect for everyone..she might just learn to respect herself and stand up for herself when needed too - because she also is a person of great worth in this world.

I realize my perspective as a white parent with asian daughters may be a little unique. I honestly seek out diversity for her. But I'm thankful for that unique perspective and I *hope* I would feel the same way if my children were white. I honestly believe I would because this gets down to what I believe about my faith as well..belief that each person is a unique and valuable creation of God. You know "Jesus loves the Little Children" and "Love your neighbor as yourself" You can't love people you don't take the time to get to know. And by no means do we do this perfectly. Far from it actually. But what I know is this: For our family, we are enriched by all the people we do know, and particularly all the people my children know. In Hannah's girl scout troop, I think the black girls outnumber the white girls. At Camp China, Hannah gets to be the majority - a group of 17 girls in her age group..all Chinese. At school, probably 1/3 of the class is Hispanic. Her teacher has an Asian painted umbrella in her class, as well as Native American items (which is a culture that is an interest to her teacher). And you know what? It's going to be a great year!!

Camp China!

This past weekend we took a LONG drive to Black Mountain, NC for our first visit to Camp China. Camp China is a weekend family camp for families who have children from China.Those of you who know my children probably know that Hannah particularly is all about everything China. I'm very thankful she is proud to be from China and I want to encourage that in both girls. We hope to return to visit China one day, but in the meantime, we had "Camp China". The girls and I had a blast and hope to be able to go back next year.

We joined about 50+ other girls from China and their families for a fun weekend of games, Chinese dance, Chinese art, swimming, s'mores around a campfire, new friends, and more. Morning activities were split with the kids in their age-group classes with counselors and teachers while parents had workshops and a guest speaker. (And maybe even a nap!). Sunday featured Kay Bratt, author of Silent Tears: a Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage, as the speaker for the adults. She was a great speaker with a very inspiring message. Then, after lunch, families had some free time for swimming, playing in the creek, resting,etc., folowed by family activities. Saturday we went to a cooking class and learned to make a cold noodle dish. Sunday we painted Chinese umbrellas and decorated picture frames. The evenings varied. Friday evening was the welcome campfire, s'mores, and games. Saturday evening was a movie for the kids with crafts for the adults. (Kids had crafts in their morning classes). I tried out calligraphy and Chinese knot tying. Sunday evening was the closing ceremony complete with a talent show, showing off what they learned in Chinese Dance class, and a dragon parade. Both my girls were in the talent show. Hannah did a dance she made it up - it was really beautiful! Sadie told knock-knock jokes. They were hilarious! Not because the jokes were funny, but actually because well, they weren't funny at all but she thought they were. And she was just too dang cute as she boldly marched to the stage, took the microphone, told her jokes, and then laughed at her own made-up jokes. Everyone else couldn't help laughing too. (so of course now she thinks her jokes are the best and she's going to be a comedian - or "joker" as she calls it - when she grows up!) All-in-all a very fun weekend. To me the value of the weekend was not in the kids learning about Chinese culture. The real value was in just hanging out with so many other kids just like them. And also in hanging out with the teenage and young adult counselors and the adult teachers. They were also Asian (mainly Chinese). All the girl counselors were adopted from China as well. (The guy counselors were asian, but not necessarily adopted). The counselors were awesome- even spending time hanging out with the kids during what was supposed to be their free time, giving piggy back rides, and more. It was neat to see how the little girls looked up to them. Sometime Saturday as we were headed to our room, Hannah said "mom, almost everyone here is Chinese! Except the parents!". Here's some pictures from our weekend.

This was a cooking class! The cooking instructor took some time out of teaching us to pose with some of the counselors who walked through after playing a game of counselor paint-tag.

Sadie and a new friend mixing up ink for calligraphy

Hannah painting her umbrella

Hannah dancing for talent show

Sadie takes the microphone for knock-knock jokes

Just hanging out with new friends

Closing Ceremony

Prison: How to Help

Okay, well, I tried to put this all in one long post and apparently blogger thought I was a bit too long-winded. So here's what I cut out of the previous post. Don't forget to scroll down and read the post before this.

Following is a re-post (slightly edited) that I originally posted last year. But it's time again. So, in case you missed my thoughts on why I go to prison, here they are.Before I get to that though, I will be going to prison again September 8-11, this time for a full Kairos weekend of 3.5 days. This is exciting for us because it's the first time in several years we have been able to do the full weekend there. We will be welcoming 36 residents (what we call the inmates) into the Kairos community. These are ladies who are in prison but who have not yet been involved in any of our weekends or retreats. We will be listening, loving, praying, sharing, singing, worshipping, eating, laughing, and probably crying too together for 3.5 days. And God will do amazing things, I am sure. We'd love to have your help. Contact me if you want more info on how to help. Some of the things we need include:

* Prayers - If you tell me you are praying for us, your name will go on a strip of paper and be added to our prayer chain. Think of the paper chains you might have made as a child. That's what it's like, except every chain link represents one person who is praying. We circle the prison chapel with the prayer chain and it's a very visual representation to the women that they are not forgotten. It's amazing to witness the chain come out and their reactions.

* Donations - Just $5 provides a meal for one of our residents. And $125 sponsors one resident for the entire weekend. (And it's tax deductible). Contact me for more information.

* Placemats - this is a great project for children's sunday school classes. We need sets of 36 placemats decorated by children. Children should put only their first name and age.

* Expressions of love and encouragement - write sets of 36 identical letters of encouragement (they can be addressed to "Dear sister in Christ"). Or provide 36 encouraging bookmarks (identical). Or provide 36 copies of a poem or inspiration thought. No stickers, glue, etc.

*Make a dozen homemade cookies. Or provide a couple bags of "salties" such as potato chips, cheese puffs, pork skins (very loved there!).

Okay - scroll down and read the post below this for why I go. Or click this link.
http://deette530.blogspot.com/2011/07/why-i-go-to-prison-updated-repost.html

Why I Go to Prison - an updated repost

Okay..here's the original, slightly edited post.

I drive a lot for work. My car and I travel a lot of county roads. Occasionally I pass crews of men or women who are in prison and are out cleaning up the roads. Sometimes they are city or county jail crews – usually given away by the orange jumpsuits. But sometimes I also see white clothing with the familiar black letters on the back (DOC). Department of Corrections. State prisoners. Many years ago, I just drove by them without a 2nd thought. I didn’t actually think badly of them. No, my attitude was almost worse. I simply didn’t think of them at all. They had nothing to do with me or what I was doing or where I was going. They were “other”, not like me and not a part of me.

That all changed in 2001. One Sunday morning I was walking in the door of my church when I was greeted by a friend who said, “Hey! I’m going to lead a Kairos weekend in September and I’d love for you to help. Are you interested?” I said, “Sure, I’d love to!” I then entered the church and thought “Oh crap! What did I just do??? I didn’t mean that!”See, my friend was very involved in prison ministry at our state women’s prison a couple hours away. Kairos was the name of the ministry she was involved in. I’d just told her that I’d love to minister in prison! Um, yeah. That wasn’t really my “thing” back then. I’d never even considered the idea. Up until that point, I’d volunteered with different groups of people. Kids mainly. Kids were my “thing”. I’m a teacher and I love kids. But adults in general weren’t my “thing” and especially adults in prison. I got nervous. What would I say to someone in prison? How could I relate to them? I thought prison ministry was a good thing for someone else to do, but not me! I had actually sent cards to some men in prison as part of a project before. But to talk to them, sit with them, spend a weekend with them? What was I thinking?! Actually I wasn’t thinking. My mouth said yes before my brain could engage in a debate. And while I generally can say “no” pretty well, I’m very thankful that in that instance, I said “yes”. I don’t exactly know why I didn’t ever go back to my friend and say “hey, I made a mistake and I meant no”, except that I started listening to God. And somehow, this started seeming “right”.

It's now 10 years later and I’ve been in that prison numerous times. Maybe 5 times for full Kairos weekend retreats (3.5 days each), 5 times for shorter 2-day follow-up retreats, and more times than I can count for monthly reunions lasting a couple hours. Somewhere between a Thursday night in September and the following Sunday afternoon back in 2001, prison ministry became my “thing”. My fears? Irrelevant in the face of what God was doing. You know what I learned about relating to people in prison? They are people. And just like me and you, those ladies are people of great worth. The woman wearing that white DOC uniform and I are the same in God’s eyes. We have the same fears, hopes, and dreams. We have both made mistakes. We have both sinned. We are both in need of God’s grace and forgiveness. God loves me intensely with an amazing love. God loves her just as intensely with just as much amazing love. True, I have not committed a crime that could end me up in prison. But have I committed crimes in my heart? Have I gone against what God wanted me to do at times? Yes, it’s part of being human. But God’s grace is there for me, and it’s there for the women (and men) in prison as well. And because of that, I can relate to the ladies there as sisters..sisters in Christ. It’s a really, really beautiful thing.

It’s a beautiful thing, but it’s not always easy. Kairos’ mission is to “bring Christ’s love to the incarcerated, their families, and those who work with them”. It’s tough sometimes. Because even though God sees us as his children, equally loved, the world doesn’t always see that way. And the world passes that message on to us, and to them. Sometimes I have to fight through a temptation to think that in some way I’m “better than” my sister wearing white who is sitting across from me. More often, I fight the opposite temptation to think that I’m “not good enough” to make a difference. And sometimes our new friends, they struggle with those things too. They struggle to impress us, make us think they’re “better than”, “tougher than”, etc. Or, they struggle with thinking they’re not good enough, don’t’ deserve God’s love, etc. It’s not just the relationships inside the prison that are tough. Our relationships with other team members aren’t always easy either. We’re a pretty diverse bunch: we are young, older, black, white, from big churches, small churches, and different denominations. We disagree with each other at times. Sometimes we hurt one another’s feelings, even if unintentionally. Sometimes, we just plain irritate and frustrate each other. But God’s grace covers us all and because of that we learn to pray together, listen to each other, forgive, and love. It helps that we also sing together, eat together, and laugh together. God shows up, and lives are transformed right before my eyes, every time. Sometimes, it’s even my life that gets transformed as I learn a little more each time about what God’s heart looks like in the world.

One of my favorite "snapshots" of ministry there is the way we often close reunions or retreats. We all gather in a circle in that small, simple chapel. Nothing fancy - just a cross and a Bible. Very diverse women whose only common denominator is Christ. Women who have shared our lives over the past hours or days. Our team of women in jeans and colorful t-shirts interspersed with women in white uniforms. We all join hands together and sing a song proclaiming that there is only one God, only one King, and only one Body (of Christ) and asking God to bind our hearts together with his love. I’m not a big crier. But that moment gets me every time. I feel a lump in my throat and my eyes tear up as I look around that circle while we all praise the God who unites us. I imagine that feeling of unity and peace and love is just a taste of what heaven feels like. Who knew that when I said yes to prison ministry, I was saying yes to getting a glimpse of heaven?

Now, when I pass work crews with those white uniforms and “DOC” on the back, I notice. They are no longer “other” and their lives matter very much to me. And actually, so do the lives of those in the orange county / city jail uniforms. They matter too. I think about them and about the others those uniforms represent. I slow down just a little and as I pass by, I whisper a prayer of God’s peace, protection, and guidance on their lives. Just maybe, next time you pass one of those crews, you’ll sense a little nudge too…to notice them, to slow down just a little, and to whisper a prayer.

**If you want to be added to our prayer chain, or help in another way, leave a comment, e-mail me, or send me a FB message.

Spring Highlights

So, my sweet friend Laine recently reminded me I haven't updated since March. Well, we've been having lots of fun this summer, but you'll have to wait to read about summer. A brief look back at spring. Or at least the spring happenings (post spring-break) that I have pictures for. Because 1. It's more interesting anyway if there's pictures and 2. How am I supposed to remember what we did back in March - May if I don't have a picture of it. :-) So..here you go..Spring 2011: The Highlights.

Makeup. Sadie has quite the style don't you think?

Teeth. Actually I think Hannah lost one or two more to equal who knows how many (7 she says). Sadie has lost 3. But this was her first.

Easter Egg Hunt and Fun (Sadly, I forgot my camera for Easter Sunday though)

Girl Scout Camp. Hannah went for 2 nights with her troop and had a blast!

Sadie's 3rd Family Forever Day. My how this little girl has grown and changed. She is a joy every day!! These were here "gotcha day" clothes. Which 3 years later actually fit her for the first time instead of swallowing her up.

Tornado Relief Boxes. As everyone in our state knows, our state was ravaged my multiple deadly tornadoes April 27th. It was truly heartbreaking and like most, we just had a need to "do something". We donated supplies. But we needed to participate hands-on. So the girls and I, along with other families from our church, made these "boxes of hope" to be delivered to children all across the state who were effected by the tornadoes. If you don't live in my state you may not realize it, but there's still a lot of devastation and damage and hurting people in places even almost 3 months later. There's rebuilding and hope too..but keep the people who were affected in your prayers - some of them have a very long road to recovery ahead.

Soccer

Dance Recitals - both girls did a great job in their year-end dance recitals and looked so incredibly cute too!! And Hannah was awarded a dance scholarship for next year to boot. Whoo hoo! Happy News!!

Hannah's 5th Family Forever Day. Hard to believe it's been 5 years since this sweet, spunky girl made me a mom. We couldn't do gotcha day clothes pictures this year - It's the first year she hasn't managed to squeeze into them. But we celebrated by going out for her favorite Chinese noodles. This girl can eat some noodles!

And there you have it..the cliff notes version of Spring. Look for "Summer Happenings" soon. Maybe by Christmas. :-)